you say about jess valenti, “this is yet again another great example of how feminists these days use lies, misinformation, double standards, and hypocracy to make their claim that women are victims.” i’m sorry but how does one feminist making a generalization prove something about all feminists? it doesn’t. jess valenti does not represent all feminists, just as ignorant and vulgar men don’t represent everyone in the men’s movement.

similarly as you complain about how she ignores the well-written men’s movement blogs, you ignore the well written feminist blogs. feministing is not the only feminist blog in existence.

the reason you will find a lot of hypocrisy in the blog is because not all feminists are the same. within the group of people who identify as feminists there is a very broad range of beliefs. the feministing blog doesn’t exist to make one lucid statement about feminism but rather as a community where feminists can discuss and disagree.

and i’m sorry but your assertion that “men are becoming the underclass in America” is in no way related to any of your points, nor is it true. men control the world – they control every major industry, country, and company – with a few exceptions. men on average get paid more than woman for the exact same job.

now, onto your arguments (most of which i don’t see as standing in opposition of feminism, nor do i see them as actually majorly affecting men’s lives)
1. yes, there are family shows where the fathers are portrayed as idiots. there are also family shows where they are not. and, in general, in family shows woman are portrayed one-dimensionally as “mothers” who cater do they needs of their children and husbands obediently.

and also it seems like you are only talking about comedic family shows, any of which i can’t think of, but if you look at the rest of television and media – there are statistically many more men on tv shows than woman, and male main characters greatly out number the number of female characters, so by nature of that alone there are more varied roles of men.

2. yes, a lot of boys have been diagnosed with add, but i don’t think you can say with any certainty that it’s becuase schools are no longer responsive to their needs. another approach to looking it at is as a representation of the intersection between an academic environment and gender roles. girls are praised for being obedient and boys are praised for being adventurous and independent.

3. i wasn’t really aware that this was an issue. probably because it’s much much much more common that you hear of men who choose to neglect their parental rights, leaving the child in the care of the mother. i dont think i have ever heard of any instances where a father was arbitrarily not allowed to father his child but if this is an issue, i am definitely for equal parental rights granted there are equal parental responsibilities.

4.i don’t really think this is comparable to roe v wade nor do i think a draft is a justifiable concept. i simply think roe v wade is of a very different nature than being draft-picked for the military. that being said i completely disagree with the concept of a draft for the same reason as you. the government has no right to order people to fight, kill, and injur. just as a side note, the last draft we had was almost 40 years ago when gender relationships were a lot different in this country than they are now, so i think you can’t say with any validity that as a man you are limited because if there is a draft there’s a good likelihood women will also be drafted. we don’t know.

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okay, to conclude. i hope you actually listen to me and dont just cast me off because i am a feminist. feminism means a different thing to each person, because each person is different.

for me personally, i am obviously a feminist, but i don’t believe that feminism should be about all about equality. sexism is different from racism in that men and women are inherently different, and i hope for a society which values the role and capacity of women just as much as it values the role of men. this is includes valuing motherhood, birth, and pregnancy.

“Boys are considered stupid in school and routinely put on Ritalin or other mind medications because schools no longer are responsive to their needs.”

On this you have my complete agreement. I don’t however
feel that this is the fault of feminism. I think it has everything
to do with the system of exchange we live in. Children are
not valued and so while we speak about education, we do
not invest real dollars into it. The class sizes are so large
that teachers do not want to deal with a naturally excited
child they would rather drug him and that is wrong. You
are very right to point out the ADD/ADHD thing as a male
phenomenon. They are being “diagnosed” in much higher
numbers than girls.

“The most egregious violation of our rights are our parental rights. We have no parental rights, just parental responsibilities. The child is not the males when it comes to most major decisions unless money is involved, then the man is just supposed to pay up and shut up.”

It was my understanding that the pendulum had swung, and
that more men were being given a chance to parent equally.
If that is not the case, I would agree that it is wrong. A child
benefits from having a father in his life. It is simply unfair
to deny equal access to both parents. A woman may have
a uterus and a womb, but that does not necessarily make
her a good mother.

“Another right we don’t have is to our own body. Women fought successfully in order to get Roe v. Wade, yet men have not won the fight in order to be free of the draft and selective service. If a major war breaks out, I won’t have the right to say its my body and I choose not to fight.”

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT point. I agree no one should be
forced to fight any war. It is simply wrong and that burden
should not fall solely to males.

While I agree with alot of what you have to say there are
still a few things that I found to be problematic. Thank you
for the exchange though. This is the first pleasant exchange
I have had with a mens rights activist online.

The most egregious violation of our rights are our parental rights. We have no parental rights, just parental responsibilities. The child is not the males when it comes to most major decisions unless money is involved, then the man is just supposed to pay up and shut up.

Another right we don’t have is to our own body. Women fought successfully in order to get Roe v. Wade, yet men have not won the fight in order to be free of the draft and selective service. If a major war breaks out, I won’t have the right to say its my body and I choose not to fight.